Always Check For Comments...And Reply

hi claudia - it's me susan pietrowski, i would love to contact you...so someday when you post a new post to your blog, you will see this message and say "wow",,,I remember her and then you will email me at lonestarsprite@yahoo.com! I love monarch butterflies and have a plant in my backyard that is covered with those wonderful green, yellow, black and white catepillars...they eat every leaf off the plant. Hello long lost friend!

December 13, 2010 4:18 PM

I found Susie's comment on or around January 6, 2011. I smiled deep and wide as my mind flooded with images, memories of our college years together, her soft nature, sweet smile, great wisdom....and i carried all that with me, gently, for days, imagining my reply, imagining how i would craft my hello after so many years. Susie was our son's Fairy Godmother. she had always wanted to be a fairy godmother,and with susie you knew that desire was for real. she even sent him a glittered magic wand for his first christmas! susie was special, loved, an artist, eventually a mother to two children her soul adored. she was not without her demons but even those she was gentle about.

So i walked and i remembered and i smiled and i thought and i prepared to write back to this dear dear friend from, basically, childhood. but i waited too long.

On the morning of January 24, 2011, I received an email from another dear college friend telling me that susie had died the day before.

Susie was gone.
I waited too long.
There would be no email to Susie, no reply to me, no phonecall....

I waited too long.
I have been in touch with her beloved son, Rivers; i cannot imagine his grief, nor that of his sister Sarah, only 13 years old. I want to scoop them both up and tell them everything i know of their mother, all the spots inside that maybe she only shared with me...all the memories that sparkle like gems....and maybe i will do that. Soon. Before it is too late.

I am so so sad that i missed the opportunity you presented me with dear friend: you must have known that you were sick, that it was ending, this life on earth. You must have been contacting me to say goodbye.

Goodbye sweet friend.
I will never forget you.

I love you Susie.

I'm sorry I waited too long.

when i met my cousin Brendan last night, my Irish Eyes felt all soft inside, as if on the outside they may just have looked like this. my cousin, the first one i've met, with no memories between us from our childhoods due to stupidly stubborn Irish brothers who were our fathers...stupid grudges and disagreements, so we cousins never climbed trees together or learned to smoke cigarettes together or rode bikes together or layed in the last day of summer vacation sun together counting notebooks and pencils, talking about the teachers we hoped we didn't get.

but there is NOW. and brendan started it....and he is the first of many that i've now met. thank you brendan, thank you Divine Order of The Universe for allowing this to open up for us. Blessed Be.